Tabletop roleplaying games (RPGs) can be a lot of fun, but for some people, getting into character and roleplaying can feel awkward or uncomfortable. Here are some tips to help you roleplay without feeling awkward.
The best way to not feel awkward is to realize everyone else is there for the same reason. This is what everyone is here for: to act like a character that isn’t themself. I know what it’s like to feel awkward when in front of others (sometimes even when I roleplayed). Here is a list of 6 tips you can use to help you avoid feeling awkward.
For general roleplaying tips check out this article.
6 Tips to roleplay without feeling awkward
- Embrace Your Character
When you create a character for an RPG, it’s important to embrace their personality, backstory, and traits. Think about how your character would act and react in different situations. Don’t be afraid to fully immerse yourself in your character’s world.
What helps to do the above is to start with a character build you have an interest in playing. Don’t let others talk you into playing something you don’t want to play. That said, playing the same thing as another person may detract from your character. If being unique is what you are going for, an easy way to achieve that is to play something no one else is.
Something to note about embracing your character is the following: your character is not you and actions taken in character are not a reflection on you. Also, actions others take are not an attack or reflection on you as a person either.
Feeling awkward is often a concern with how you think you are being viewed by those around you. If they are at the table to roleplay then they see roleplaying games as an acceptable hobby. If they aren’t roleplaying themselves and you are then you are being more accepting and less judgemental than they are in their own head. Let go of needing acceptance or approval, if you approve that’s all you need.
- Start Small
If you’re new to roleplaying or feeling uncomfortable, start with small interactions. Practice talking in character with other players, and get a feel for how your character would react to different situations. As you become more comfortable, you can expand your roleplaying. Starting small can be many aspects of roleplaying.
I’ve been in groups where everything from social interactions to the combat itself is acted or voice acted out. You may only be comfortable with parts of social interactions and that’s fine. Remember that you are there to enjoy yourself. Find the parts of roleplaying that entertain you and start with those, expanding as you see fit.
- Use Props and Costumes
Using props and costumes can help you get into character and feel more comfortable. Even simple props like a hat or a piece of jewelry can help you feel more connected to your character. Costumes can also be a fun way to fully embody your character.
- Focus on the Story
Remember that RPGs are about telling a story. Focus on the story and how your character fits into it, rather than worrying about feeling awkward. Keep in mind that everyone at the table is there to have fun and enjoy the experience.
Everyone at the table is also doing their best at roleplaying with the understanding they have of what it means to roleplay. So if others don’t do things the way you do or you don’t do things as they think you should then don’t take it personally as they are expressing what their views are (though not in a helpful manner).
You are acting as a character in an imaginary world, and so too are the others. This means that what happens to or by your character is not a reflection of you. It’s an action that occurs for everyone to see how the story is moved forward. Don’t let yourself get caught up feeling like what happens to your character means something about you (you’ll know when you are doing this usually when you get upset about how things are going-though not always.)
- Be Supportive of Other Players
One of the great things about RPGs is that they are a collaborative experience. Be supportive of other players and their characters. Encourage their roleplaying and engage with them in character. This can help create a more comfortable and inclusive atmosphere at the table.
The best way you can be supportive of other players is by not making problems out of the things they say or do in character. They are not trying to make you personally look bad, embarrass or shame you in any way. If you can’t shake these kinds of feelings then ask others to “help you out for a minute” and “I’m feeling uncomfortable, is my head being silly or are you actually making fun of, insulting, etc, me”
You will often find that your own mind is just making stuff up that isn’t going on with others. Let go of those negative thoughts and get back to having fun playing. If you still can’t shake those thoughts then you can speak to the GM.
- Communicate with Your GM
If you’re feeling particularly uncomfortable or unsure about a situation, communicate with your GM. They can help guide you through the roleplaying experience and provide feedback on your performance. They may also be able to adjust the game to better suit your comfort level.
Most games are hosted by the GM and they have the final say as to who plays in their game and who doesn’t. If you are uncomfortable because of someone else then make sure they know. That said, make sure your discomfort isn’t because of your own life perspective. If it’s your own perspective ask the GM to help with that. I’ll start though if you were invited to play in a game it’s because the others wanted you there and felt you have value to add to the game as a person.
RPG without feeling awkward in social settings
The above tips are helpful for gaining confidence through the repetition of roleplaying itself. The following information is to help you not feel embarrassed while in a social situation. This can also help you avoid those awkward moments while roleplaying, or for life in general. Here is a video I found that helps explain this in a quick way.
Top 3 takeaways from the video
- Crack a joke– Making a joke in the face of embarrassment is a great way to relieve some tension, for you and the audience.
- Embrace the silence– If you take a deep breath and just admit to yourself “I feel embarrassed or awkward” then it can go a long way for you to be able to let go of that feeling.
- Make eye contact– One of the worst things to do is to look away from everyone. In doing so it often signals to others that you are feeling awkward. If you give no outward sign that you are, then many times no one will know you are. At the same time owning up to the fact is more helpful. If you try and avoid it your mind will bring “that one time” back over and over again.
We all say or do things that at first thought sound good. Only after the fact do we realize that was awkward, worse still is when you say something while you feel awkward that only makes things more awkward. Using the lessons above you can reduce your own silly mental thoughts about “how you look to others”.
If you are still struggling with feeling awkward then look at the following article on psych central about the signs and causes of feeling socially awkward (you’ll notice much of what has been said is listed there).